Grandma’s Christmas

We won’t be celebrating Christmas this year. ‘If it is possible, we might not celebrate my birthday. This could be Grandma’s Last Christmas. My grandmother and mother were sick with covid.

‘I become infected by covid too, although I’ll bounce back; however, my family who raised me was not doing well. It’s too much on me to see them sick and suffering because I remember how vitalized they were.‘Now: everything is on me to do, my older sister will not help me due to her anxiety, and she said, ‘I have my life to live.’ ‘Grandmother and mom our your problem,’ she told me.

Well, a problem they have been, but a blessing they are to me. My mother and I were struggling to make rent when I turned 18 and started my first job at Fred Meyer.  I gave her my first check. Then when that job didn’t work out due to prejudice and sexual harassment by a manager named Kevin, they fired me. After a few years of working to help my mom make rent and put food on the table.

I started to work for Dollar Tree around 2020-2022, and the manager kept hazing’ and harassing the minorities who worked under her. Particularly,— the people who are African- Americans. Every day when I would come to work, she’d use profanity at me for no reason.

As a manager, she would make threats about my work ethic in stocking products on shelves right. ‘If I didn’t line it up professionally to her likings’ when she saw it. The Caucasian employees’ would tell her I left ladders out. Then she would threaten to fire me. So, I gave a detailed resignation and quit. ‘ Never have I felt much freedom and less anxiety since the day I stopped working for Dollar Tree.

Essentially people have talked wrong about me. I don’t care. I’m not an unreasonable person; I’m a businesswoman.  I’m also a writer who compassionately testifies the truth to anyone willing to listen; while having the heart to relate. ‘  Resigning from Dollar Tree; due to prejudice intent and workplace safety, I became currently unemployed. By helping support Fiore Beaded Designs; ‘ you’re helping my family and me to make an honest living. I’m working with gifts God has given me already thats’ all I have. God placed talent in me to give, not to abuse.

‘If you are talented, not using what God has provided to restore healing, then you should be ashamed.’ My mother has encouraged me to bead since I was six years old. I’ve studied native history, and practice patterns, and thought, ‘If anyone could do it, so can I.’  ‘When we don’t believe in our talent and skills, everyone can not see it, to make a difference with what God has given us. The trick is…, to not give up.

Second Thoughts

I had hesitations about writing a go-fund-me. Based on the many sick people who need help. I wasn’t sure if my story or problem was worth anyone’s time. I thought, ‘If I could do something on my own and keep working on my website, then; I could raise enough money to support myself and my family. ‘Not having to go this route. ‘Truth— is we all need a good boost to start something fantastic, or to feel strong again, when we are weak. My mother encouraged my artistic abilities ‘  when I was young. Art poured out of me to create and inspire.

I was a little child who had to have a pencil and paper in my hand to draw something.

My grandmother let me sit and draw for hours while she watched T.V. Then there would be those days when she would get furious and make us clean her house. On a good day, she would want to see my artwork. Asking if I could draw her, I would tell her,‘ I don’t know how to do that yet, Grandma, I’m still practicing’. Despite her split personality and mental illnesses, she resembled a loving nature to her grandchildren in every way.  

My grandmother and mother deserve better from their children and grandchildren. I’m here, ‘I’ve always been here for my mother; and grandmother. ‘Remembering; what they did for both of us regardless of my grandmother’s actions’ she doesn’t deserve to be abused or neglected. My grandmother helped my older sister pay for two cars, and fixed the garage my sister ran into.’ She helped my older sister pay for driving lessons, and when she got into the third and fourth accidents’ my sister got two more new cars from our mother.

‘Every late car payment, insurance bill, groceries, and salon visit. Our parents, my mother, and grandmother supplied her needs. When they both got sick, or my mother couldn’t be in two spots at once, without currently having a car, feeling unconfident and having minimal time to study. I’ve been the one who’s been here. They put all their efforts into the one person who didn’t care for them the most.

My older sister doesn’t care to help because our parents are my problem to her. They’re not a problem to me. They’re human beans treated inhumanely,’ by other people.

I had orchestrated a go-fund-me for her. My grandmother is at the end of her life span now. She misses her family, but ‘where we live, we hardly have any room. As you can see, I’ve started rough, and you’ll know the start of my journey when I finish publishing my autobiography. As for my grandmother, she’s afraid to eat right now; due to negligence of service at a senior living facility.’

I’ve heard that other people elsewhere on the east coast are more hospitable but have a conglomerate poise. ‘How do I know that’s true?’ I listened to people who have lived on the other side. Young people my age left Oregon and Washington to be more prominent for life. ‘If we have people willing to help us clear out a lot of our stuff and a ticket to move. In a safe, livable area on the east coast. Then we would consider leaving the pacific northwest.

Bonaventure Adventure

‘Since my grandmother moved into the Bonaventure in March of 2022, ‘She has been mistreated. Firstly: the hospital at Kaiser Permanente put her in a cage and drugged her because they claimed she could not calm herself down. We only took her in concern, ‘she might have a Urinary Track Infection. They drugged her up at Kaiser sunnyside hospital.

All of which; she gave (35) plus years of service to, or more in employment. We wanted her to go to Evergreen Place, but because Kaiser brought her cognitive level down based on bureaucracy, she could not go to Evergreen. ‘ Instead, she went to Bonaventure. Kaiser kept switching her medication. Which gave her an allergic reaction to drugs certain drugs. Even injections we did not authorize by doctors’ orders. Before her stay at Bonaventure, Peace Health Southwest Washington lost her teeth and treated her horridly.

As her family, we did not authorize any of these hospitals to cage her. ‘I know my grandmother is a handful, but they are supposed to help her. Keep her company, ‘she’s like a baby again because her mother “ Iola Nickels” would beat her severely, she broke her nose, and she lost ninety percent of her hearing. Her mother made all her kids charity to the state, and when they got older and a little better equipped, they found life for themselves, and one lost his life because of her. She’s another story at a different time with a cup of coffee.

They promised she would have good care with them, and the executive administrator said she would work with us to keep her there because she knew my mother had critical heart health. ‘All fabrications to drain her dry figuring out how to enslave us to provide her care for the rest of her days. When we visited, we did her cleaning and bought take-out because the food they prepared was something you would feed to the pigs.

We, or should I say my mother showered her more than once. While; my mom was trying to heal from surgery. I would have my grandmother share my room and buy a blow-up mattress,’ if it was not too small, ‘that’s how sad I was to hear her say, ‘This place is a prison – I want to go home.’ ‘ Even if she came home with us,’ we run the risk of her hurting us because of her illness.

Then again: some older people do just fine being around people who love them. She wants to be around her family, and I want us all to be safe. I love my grandmother from the bottom of my heart. I might have said some things I didn’t mean about her, but I’m going through a lot trying to help two adult women, ‘ who are sick. ‘Who do they have?’ The state does not care, ‘they want money while abusing people. We all know the system, there are not enough bodies to help the sick. Regulate public safety as well as the public workforce.

If the state is so— good, my grandmother wouldn’t have to suffer. ‘If the Government cared, they would not have allowed a sick woman to work as hard as she did without help. Grandmother knew what she was doing to dress and provide for my mother and her three brothers. Although: when it came to her finances and property real estate, the bank took most of her assets. Pending investigation of theft when Umpqua was Sterling. She had no prior knowledge of what she was signing on her affairs;  therefore, the bank took the initiative to persuade her to sign contracts incompetently.

 We had doctors’ permission to handle all her affairs’— by law, when she became sick, we did nothing wrong.  Umpqua took advantage of my grandmother.

My grandmother has done some treacherous; things to my mom and has always despised her father, but my mom’s heart still forgives and loves her despite her jealous behavior. They both went through hard, ‘knocks school’ which; is slang for having people well educated than them teach them or abuse them.  They’ve tried to instill their wisdom in my sister and me. Unfortunately, we both have attitudes about our grade school bumps affecting our adult life. Things my mother and grandmother couldn’t teach and spend time with us well enough because society had them working like dogs.

I see the ugly truth, everything was a threat to survival, and some days looking at their faces, I knew they didn’t want to leave us; but how were they going to pay the bills? Affording to pay a mortgage, rent, and buy food every day, but God provided us with food boxes.

Comment…

‘If you decide to support Mrs.Ashby. You’re helping us by commenting on this blog post. Her bill collectors patronize my mother, with bills left and right. Which; makes life challenging to pay our bills. Some of you Jeffersonians remember Mrs.Janet well ‘She needs you. She is a Jefferson high-school graduate, and so is my mom.

They could use your help. Remember your co-worker who brought chicken and potato salad to the office? Supported birthday parties, made that particular cake, cranked up the music to get you motivated cracked jokes on the elevator. The sister and daughter nursing family back to good health.

 —The sister who stuck up for you when you were being beaten, drinking rotten wine, and leaving chicken bones in her basement, attracting rodents. —The parent: fighting three women when her babies were’, threatened. ‘The mother who walked up and down the streets in stores. — Looking; for her boy a suit when he didn’t get it together to graduate the eighth grade. The grandmother, who longs to give and spend more time with Tashiana.

Tashiana ‘if you ever; need anything, do not hesitate to ask me. I love you, cousin’, ‘I don’t care what you have going on,‘ I still love my cousin. ‘If you’ll allow me, and my mother to be a part of your life, our door is always open.’ A daughter who waited on all of her family when she saw them without a single complaint. You’re looking at a woman who would give you her heart because she’s been;— abused. She didn’t mind giving a hundred dollars to strangers and kids. Her life was awful, but she rarely showed her true colors in public. She said, ‘God has the last say.’ 

You are looking at a woman who witnessed the Martin Luther King .jr shooting and ‘has seen the bicentennial. She grew up in the 60s and had a rough start, but when heaven calls her home, she’ll have a fantastic finish.

‘How did we get Covid’?

I’m mortified by how Bonaventure has treated her and our family. Then, when Grandma got sick, we all got covid. Anyone can get covid by not keeping clean enough, or if their immune system is severely compromised. ‘God’ is with us, due to the hospital giving my mother medicine called ‘Paxlovid’. Which, was not FDA-administrated at the time, could have killed my mom. Glory be to God! She made it. How did we all get sick? –It was  Bonaventure; their med aids overdosed my Grandmother with Olanzapine and left her in her room rocking, back and forth in her soaking wet pull-up for eight hours.

 The coordinator made threatening accusations’ when we first met about me bringing attention to the public, but my grandmother suffered abuse, and they think they can walk, based on the care they gave her during her time there. The purpose of this blog is for law officers of the court to come to us. We’ve tried to consult them, and we kept getting rejected.

As we lifted her, the fumes of poisonous urine came out to us. ‘ Infecting us with the virus. Covid is everywhere. —’ All of us are vaccinated, yet you can be prone to it by not keeping clean. Nothing was always clean in her room. Germs are more attracted to viral bacteria when nothing is clean for a long time.

‘No fresh sheets, No baths on time, No brushing her teeth, and clean clothes. ‘Threatening her about snacks or fresh meals. Isolation messes with her awareness and distorts her mobility. When my sister came to visit, they didn’t even let us know she went to the other side for assisted living. At the time, they were under quarantine due to Covid. The words my grandmother yelled out while my sister was speaking with my mom over the phone were “I’m sick too!” We were trying to get over a cold little did we know Grandma already had Covid and was drugged.  

We know something happened because they went off an old medication administration record. ‘On December thirteenth, ‘when I went to see her with my mom. We noticed she was foaming at the mouth. It cringed us to know that she is fighting sickness and detoxing because of Bonaventure. While; we sleep ‘we don’t know what they could have done to our grandmother. I knew something was trying to come out of my grandmother’s system, but her family would never put it there.

On the eight-teenth, we saw her again ‘she still had Covid in her system. Social workers kept calling around the clock. Mainly for my mother, we went home after buying Sunday chicken which; grandma would join in on.’ Unfortunately, she had to eat hospital food. ‘ While we try to decide how to downsize all her stuff in our living room and some of ours. I watched my mother cough up blood and yellow mucus to clear out, Paxlovid in her system.

I’m mortified today ‘ December 19, 2022, I called the authorities again around 8:50 AM. I left a voice mail to reach back about my email. I’m tired and distressed. ‘Did I pray this morning’? Sadly I did not, but I’ll pray. I awoke with a lot on my mind and a sense of urgency. I barely had time to myself because all my days started with my mother crying out for help from me. The majority have it wrong when they think one young adult person has now, stepped into the shoes of being an adult when problems emerge. ‘No’ when situations happen, it’s okay to reach out for help and to apologize. When we take this step, we’re gaining maturity with knowledge of life.

God says, “I Love you.”

David says, ‘I will praise you because I have been fearfully and wonderfully made.’ Found in the book of Psalms Chapter 139 ‘verses, 13-14.  I’m the youngest advocate my mother and grandmother have. I want to help, but sometimes it can be too much and confuse me. It’s a challenge; when your folks don’t behave or listen to you. I struggle with anger emotionally and outbursts when ignored,  ‘if you are overlooked practically all your life, and scrutinized by people who only have an agenda’. Then the mentality you would have is every man for himself, but you’re going to get what you want.  

My mother and grandma are strong-willed. ‘ They were taught; by the streets to fight for what they wanted to survive. When my mother got older, she learned you keep fighting the good fight of faith. Don’t judge or hate until you know the history of a person. My heart is sad and filled with a vengeance for their pain.  It’s hard to sit on the sidelines watching as they suffer because of minimal resources.’  In addition to my struggles as well and suffering.

Looking up to the sky, pressure weighs on my shoulders and thoughts. I’m wondering when it all ends. Although; I’m patient, I can sit in line and wait my turn. I will not allow you to cut me and not get reprimanded for it. ‘ This; is not about vengeance, ‘ this is about justice. We are tired of getting trampled all over. I’m sad that my mother does not acknowledge me, sometimes when I try to explain things to help. ‘If you are a victim of abuse, it’s difficult to trust people; you want to hurt everyone if you can. God wants us to love our enemies despite how; they treat us learning from them.  How we learn’ is by not repeating their negligence. ‘ Embracing family and helping them realize their senses before it’s too late for’ them.

More info about Bonaventure

Bonaventure had the nerve to send us late statements and harass us for billing inquiries on Janet’s behalf. They sent me a long email explaining; their Christmas and what families can do about covid. Unfortunately— we won’t be able to celebrate Christmas and give to St. Jude Hospital like my grandmother has done every year for children. When she got sicker, she stopped, and a caregiver named Jennetta and Terresa Brazzel stole the 30,000 dollars she was saving for a trip. My grandma always wanted to go to Hawaii, and now she can’t. We’ll all go for her and see what she worked hard for and dreamt of witnessing.

God is a way-maker ‘If he wants Grandma to see the island and flirt with the Hawaiian guys’ he’ll allow it. The government let this happen and has not compensated for the theft and abuse my grandma suffered while living on her property.

Mrs. Ashby wants to be with her family. Now she can’t because Bonaventure brought down her cognitive levels. We came to Bonaventure every day to perform services for my grandmother. Elderlife gave them fifty thousand and took all her money when her house sold. Based on a Hud scandal involving Sterling Bank, which; is now Umpqua.

Stuff…

  The State of Washington has taken us through ‘ heck. I’m not saying the other word because it’s a real place, and I don’t want to go there, nor do I want to go to prison. Although: hell is ten times worse than prison, found in the heart of Africa. Innocent people can go there.

So, what is God saying to us all?—

Huh — ‘think about what this message means to you?

Here is what it means to me all this stuff on God’s green earth will burn. The only thing you carry with you every day when you wake up is memories of your actions towards your fellow neighbor, or others. ‘ When the videotape rolls before your eyes of all you have done in your life. It will just be you and God. No one can save you, ‘ no one can hear you scream because you are dead. The soul you have now will inhabit and hasten to kneel before Christ himself. There is nothing you can do in that moment of death, but there is something you can do now in the spirit, repent and turn your life to Jesus.

Grandma Returned to the Hospital

On December 25, 2022, my grandma returned to the hospital. She would not cooperate with us using the bathroom. My mom and I had to try and prop a 247-pound woman to the restroom. She had pooped and spread fecal matter, all over out living room floor. That took me a few hours to clean off on carpet.

‘Seeing my grandmother behave the way she did. Horrible memories popped into my thoughts of when I was struggling with suicide to kill myself because I knew my grandmother would do this. When; I was in high school, I told Trystan Peters I would die with him. He had already had plans to end his life at that moment sitting at the table with him in the cafeteria.

Going through my grandma’s abusive behavior and her taking it out on my mom, I wanted to die in 2015. ‘At that moment, I felt Trystan could relate to what I didn’t know how to explain. In my autobiography, I write more and more about his death and Mountain View High School. ‘How they had a definitive role to play in his death.

My grandmother is sick with stage three memory loss. Her attributes resemble a (five-year-old’s), behavior mixed with split personalities, ‘ my mom has critical heart health.

Please don’t get confused. Everything happens for a reason, and there is nothing we did wrong, but try to love a woman who never had anything.

No Body Will be Celebrating this Year

‘ On December 20, 2022, my mother tidy-up the living room and gave me the forethought about having my grandmother come with us’. I agreed for a bit and then turned around and said, ‘Remember last Christmas when the cops were here, and how she kept screaming and asking us to do things for her, how she hit me and grabbed and cursed you out.’ Her reassurance was that she was different now, and when she was here in our cramped two-bedroom apartment, that was due to Kaiser drugging her.

My mother thinks she’ll be okay, but I think she will not. She was weak when we saw her in the hospital on December 19, 2022. ‘ At this point in my life, I don’t care if I’m married or have someone in my life.  I hope my sister does and has kids, so she can grow up. Men are a headache, not the children, the ignorant men.

All my grandmother talked about was a man making up for the loss of her mom in her life. I’d rather be alone than be tortured by someone who doesn’t give a damn. I’ve been through enough. ‘ If you’re going to be in my life, then help me. Other, than what you can offer downstairs, don’t bother me because I’m not interested.

Christmas was approaching, and none of us were ready like before. Every year since I turned 13 ‘all I wanted was someone to love, but I realized I had love; from God and my family. Christmas is about love, the love of being reunited with people who haven’t seen you in a long time, embracing new faces at the dinner table, and honoring the sick and elderly in their last moments. The gifts are reminders for people you meet and care about that you’re not selfish and your heart can forgive even though you know they are in the wrong.  Christmas shows redemption for the coming year.

Snowy

The snow is cold to bring the family together. Not to throw out people in the cold. The white icy; gloss, ‘is a reflection of purity and harsh blistering heat to the skin when left alone outside to be frostbitten. Christmas is whatever you want ‘it’ to be, but it should be something more than celebrating yourself. No one is a problem, ‘we all have issues let’s—, work it out together.

Merry Christmas Grandma!