Consciously recognizing the potential in others leads to positive reactions using words. My question is: how do we react to their response positively, which gives back an accepted reaction? Saying ‘No’ is not always a ‘good’ benefactor to a resolution. This blog post will help us talk out of a negative situation to a positive reaction.
‘No’ is Common in our world.
The fear of rejection is common in our generation today. Rejection signals a negative response to our thoughts associating us, as working adults or people, to behave irrationally without thinking. ‘How do we stop this ‘common’ cycle with a positive reaction?
‘No’ or sarcastic rejection can majorly hurt a person’s self-esteem when trying to achieve a specific goal. It’s immensely considerate and respectful when you’re in a position of authority, to research that person and come up with suggestions to help them. Only then will we receive a positive reaction? People have gotten hurt by the words we say to others without thinking or intentionally using verbal language because we came at them the wrong way.
“Fight or Flight Reaction”
“The king of Israel sent back this answer: A warrior putting on his sword for battle should not boast like a warrior who has already won” 1 King 20:11 NLT.
This quote from King Ahab is letting King Ben-hadad know that not only was he ready for battle, but King Ben-hadad was boasting about his victory if he was to succeed. When we look at ourselves so much, and our over achievements, we begin to not recognize the middleman. I have put together a demonstration of a custody analogy. In today’s example: “I have my MA in psychology, and BA in social administration, finance, medical law practice, and the judge granted me legal rights over Henry there for you are sanctioned to give me prior documentation and ‘no’ you cannot see your son.
As a mother I would feel heartbroken because the officials overlooked the situation, I’m in. They moved on to what they think is right. If I was the mother I would take flight, and end my life, get addicted, prostitute, and smoke heavily. This a primal example of flight syndrome we face in this world today. This example comes from the scenario I described at the top called ‘boasting’ with a smile.
‘Labeling’ has taken root in our society and people believe in their minds, that is only what they are. What can you or I do to stop the negative selfish behavior of egoism in our community?
Positive Results to a Negative Reaction
Let’s turn the negative influences back on them. Maggie Warrell writes: “Words are Powerful 8 Positive Speaking Habits to Build yourself up,” says, “Labels create a subconscious mental boundary that confines you.” She encourages self-talk, which I have noticed turns into a reality. One of her examples of self-motivation is: “I’ve not been very proactive about this, but I will be,” or “I’ve never prioritized getting organized, but I’ve now decided to start managing my time better.” This gives you as the accuser of being labeled to turn their insinuation around with the reality of what you’re practicing now.
Instead of proving why you’re always right or agreeing to a final decision with an attitude, add more empathy to the situation. Like this: “I know Henry is your son, and the judge has granted me as legal guardian. No one is taking you from your son. You can still see him with supervision permitted, but until you get things together and feel confident to be a parent again. I would appreciate it if you could provide more documentation about Henry for administrative purposes.” Does this sound better than the example I showed you in the beginning? ‘Yes’, it does. It tells me that a legal officer and the offender/plaintiff are working together to help the victim, which is Henry.
Fight Mode:
Do words move others to take influential measures in their behavior? Yes, they do. Here’s why, “How to Turn 11 Everyday Phrases from Negative to Positive” by Elana Goldberg says, it’s official: positive language can change your brain. Yes, that’s right – positive words like “peace,” “love” and “compassion” strengthen areas of the brain’s frontal lobes and promote cognitive function. In simple terms, hearing and using positive language can make you feel great – physically, mentally, and emotionally. On the flip side, negative language can block the brain’s natural de-stress mechanisms.
Elana is right, negative language can influence the brain to stress or anxiety causing you to react.
I used a true story in my Academic Hybrid Essay “Encouraging A Difference”. The story went like this: My grandmother went to school with a young man in a wheelchair. He liked this beautiful young lady. He rendered confidence to ask her out. She said candidly I’m involved with someone. Then, her boyfriend shows up, saying ‘Man who’d you think you’re talking to, she doesn’t want your ass, you ‘crip’! That, evening after the young couple’s dinner date, the young man in the wheelchair showed up and shot her man for calling him a ‘crip.’ He might have been disabled, but now he is serving time. They were all friends who knew each other. Instead of communicating positively, it led to an innocent life gone.
What could have happened differently to not make this man take a life? They could have shared the girl, or he could have said will all meet up later. The woman could have made a huge impression by inviting him to come on the date or signaling that she’ll talk to him later. They both could have made the person who was handicapped feel like he belonged at the moment. This small segment shows boasting, vanity, and labeling of how people overreact without thinking.
Story Two
Another story is “K-Love” radio. I listen to the “K-Love” radio station. One young man wanted to take his life because he thought nobody cared about him. His mother was a woman of faith and went to the school and announced loud and said, ‘My son wants to end his life because he feels ignored and thinks he has no friends, and that no one will sign his yearbook’. When he came back to school everyone greeted him and signed his yearbook and treated him with kindness and respect.
The mom felt so overjoyed for her teenager that she had to share her testimony with “K-Love”. She is a believer who keeps listening to their music and will not stop because “K-Love” is a positive radio station for the gospel, and they see lives changed by contagious encouragement. I’ve been in her son’s position, and I took matters into my own hands to transfer high schools based on what he has experienced, bullying and harassment included. If we stay stuck in our negative syndrome, how will we view life for the better? If we keep people there, how can they see themselves as a healthy idea?
This story in comparison to the story my grandmother told me mimics flight mode. The boy and I were about to take our lives and not graduate until encouraging people like; mothers, friends, family members, outsiders, staff, nurses, tutors, doctors, therapists, students, and even teachers can make a difference in a person’s life with saying words that make the person in distress feel appreciated.
Let’s Bring Positive Companionship to Each other
The solution to our problem may not be a solution at all, but a confident companion. We all need someone in our lives that can encourage us, not people who always discourage us. What better way to gain company and possibly a friend than to show yourself friendly? Part of attracting positive people is letting go of negative influences or simply avoiding negative words.
Techniques to improve
Christina R. Wilson teaches positive techniques to use when communicating with people we might share an interest. In her article called “How to Foster Communication: 9 Effective Techniques,” she gives us three skills to work on Listening, Empathy, and Non-verbal communication skills. I’m not going to completely elaborate on every detail in her article, however with three principles she does enlighten our approach to how we should react when it comes to taking careful consideration over our words.
Kaitlyn Vogel from her article Making Friends as an Adult Isn’t Easy, but Luckily, We Have 102 Expert-Backed Ways to Do Just That. She lists in the first step to friendship is taking initiative. How do we do that? She nudges introverts to take the initiative in sharing something about themselves, then let the other person share about themselves. The two of you in this newly growing friendship are starting smoothly but stay on a positive level don’t talk about personal stuff just yet or the meeting could grow cold.
More
Vogel has a very long list of how to connect with a trusted companion. The one thing that I noticed besides the first step in connecting to non-verbal communication that Wilson explains in her article. Is overlooking people you know. The past can hurt us or inspire us. Part of adapting to new people is recognizing the old ones not to worship the ground they walk on or greet them with profanity. Instead, try forgiveness and wish them well in their journey. No hard feelings in your new friendships and no concrete re-establishments with your old ones.
I have a hard time getting out there based on some past broken friendships in the past. The Bible simply says it this way, ‘There are “friends” who destroy each other but a real friend sticks closer than a brother’. For women, he means sisters in the same context. The main rule to a healthy friendship is to not let anything draw you apart from anyone you befriend, and don’t fall victim to a lie, gossip, or insecurities. To gain a confident companion they need to hear and see the loyalty coming from you.
The Power of Words
We may not mean what we say, but in the heat of our current dilemma, we say it. My mission from the very start of this blog post is to help you react positively to a negative response. I have provided you with two stories and little scientific evidence on how negative words affects our brain, and I have shown you positive ways to connect to others by using three communication skills and two characteristics that can help set a foundation without fear.
So far so good…right.
Now, I would like to share a video I’ve seen on YouTube. Talking about the Power of Words. By Taylor Betolini. She vividly explains school experiences. Kind of like experiences that were happening in my life growing up going to school. At that time, I couldn’t quite put my finger on the exact situation, yet in the video, she describes how I was feeling at that time. Conversely, both of our stories are different, she is blessed to meet someone in her life that paid attention to her words. Words are life-changing backed with the action behind them they become something more.
I strongly urge you to think before you start talking. Counselors every day through the suicide hotlines talk to people in drastic measures changing lives, if words didn’t mean anything a lot of those people would not be here including myself.
Fatle Words
More than 700,000 people die by suicide every year. Furthermore, for each suicide, there are more than 20 suicide attempts. People don’t explain why they just leave the weight of being left alone or ridiculed is too much. I’m going through it, weaving in and out of tough circumstances and contemplation is tough. ‘You’ want to be free from this endless nightmare we call life because no one will give you a chance, and no one knows the suffering you endured to live. The next words someone says to you should be kind, sincere, and respectful. Giving you the confidence to save a life at that exact moment. ‘Ultimately you don’t know what people do after their last conversation with you.
Works Cited
GOLDBERG, ELANA. “How to Turn 11 Everyday Phrases from Negative to Positive.” Goodness, Arison, 16 Sept. 2015, www.goodnet.org/articles/how-to-turn-11-everyday-phrases-from-negative-positive. Accessed 24 May 2023. positive language can change your brain. Yes, that’s right – positive words like “peace,” “love” and “compassion” strengthen areas of the brain’s frontal lobes and promote cognitive function. In simple terms, hearing and using positive language can make you feel great – physically, mentally, and emotionally. On the flip side, negative language can block the brain’s natural de-stress mechanisms.
TEDx Talks. “The Power of Words | Taylor Bertolini | TEDxNSU.” YouTube, 18 Apr. 2018, www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgS7bFWlqsw. Accessed 19 May 2023.
Vogel, Kaitlin. “Making Friends as an Adult Isn’t Easy, so We Came up with 102 Expert-Backed Ways to Do It.” Parade: Entertainment, Recipes, Health, Life, Holidays, The Arena Group, 5 May 2021, parade.com/1204851/kaitlin-vogel/how-to-make-friends/. Accessed 21 May 2023.
Warrell, Margie. “Your Words Are Powerful: 8 Positive Speaking Habits to Build Yourself Up.” Www.success.com, Success Magazine, 21 May 2022, www.success.com/your-words-are-powerful-8-positive-speaking-habits-to-build-yourself-up/. Accessed 19 May 2023.
Willson, Ph.D. , Christiana R. “How to Foster Positive Communication: 9 Effective Techniques.” PositivePsychology.com, Trustpilot, 15 May 2022, positivepsychology.com/positive-communication/. Accessed 13 May 2023.
World Health Organization: WHO. “Suicide.” Who. int, World Health Organization: WHO, 8 July 2019, www.who.int/health-topics/suicide#tab=tab_1. Accessed 23 May 2023.
YouVersion. “Bible.” Bible.com, YouVersion & Life Church, 2008, www.bible.com/. Accessed 13 May 2023. The king of Israel sent back this answer:
